


Vampires are a Drag

by SafetyHazard (ineedapilot)



Series: What We Create in the Shadows October Prompt Fills [2]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Drag Queens, Fluff, Guillermo Does Drag, M/M, Makeover, Pre-Canon, Prompt Fill, WWC2020, What We Create In October Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26809846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedapilot/pseuds/SafetyHazard
Summary: Early in his familiarhood, Guillermo needs a way to blow off steam and turns to drag.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Series: What We Create in the Shadows October Prompt Fills [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946776
Comments: 7
Kudos: 35





	Vampires are a Drag

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the What We Create in the Shadows (WWCITS) October prompt list. Day 4: Glitter

It became a routine. Sunday before dawn: put Nandor to coffin. Sunday morning: beat his face, get dressed. Sunday noon: take a bus to the venue. Sunday brunch: put on a show. Sunday afternoon and evening: return to the house, de-drag, and catch up on chores.

Really, it had started in high school, when GuillermoGoth2000 had first started exploring his sexuality and gender expression. He'd already been dressing up as a vampire for nearly a decade, so it hadn't been a huge leap to go from bloodsucking man of the night to bloodsucking dark lady of the night - he had the aesthetic down. Back then, video makeup tutorials, especially for drag, were few and far between, so he'd had to explore by himself, borrowing makeup from his goth girl friends and hiding away in his bedroom to try different foundations, contours, and eye shapes.

He'd even picked out a name. It wasn't the most creative choice, but somehow it felt right to him as he twirled in front of his bedroom mirror, swishing his cape and admiring his new face.

When he moved into the Staten Island house, he'd left behind the costumes and the makeup. What was the point, when he was going to be a vampire soon?

That hope sustained him through the first two years of his service to Nandor. By the third year, when the days had long since blended together in an endless blur of disgusting and menial tasks, he realized he was going to go mad if he didn't find some outlet, away from the house and the vampires. A lot of his hobbies were informally off-limits, as he'd found them to be fertile ground for finding virgins. But in drag, he could express himself without being Guillermo de la Cruz. He'd have a secret identity.

So he scrounged up some money for makeup, paid a visit to his Amá to pick up his old costumes, and started to experiment again.

As he gained confidence with his face, he started looking for ways to get out and perform during the day. He chose Sundays to go out, because he knew from looking up drag venues online that weekend drag brunch was popular now, and Colin Robinson would be out of the house from morning to evening, hopping between church services to gorge himself on the attendees.

The first few times, as a baby queen, he felt similar to his first weeks in the Staten Island house, surrounded by members of an exclusive club that he wasn't experienced enough to join. Soon, though, he started feeling more at ease, making connections and learning all sorts of things.

He started wearing stuffed bras to push together the fat on his chest, shaping his voluptuous figure with more intention. He acquired a few hand-me-down wigs, loving the way they let him toss his hair around as he danced. He expanded his makeup palette, bringing in new products to catch the patrons' eyes. Most importantly, his stress levels plateaued and even started to drop, now that he had a safety valve to let out his pent-up frustration.

Plus, he was making some money on the side, which he invested both in new drag and in replacing his clothes that were regularly ruined by bloodstains or the occasional clawing of half-alive leftovers. With his goth, dark lady persona, he stood out among the queens at drag brunch, and he eventually booked a regular Sunday gig. He was so proud of the poster that he brought it home.

That was a mistake, he realized, when he heard Nandor's plaintive voice calling out from his closet.

He rushed down the stairs and through the curtain. "What is it, Master? What...what are you doing in here?" His heart skipped a beat when he saw his poster in Nandor's hand.

Nandor looked offended. "What do you mean, what am I doing in here? This is my house, I can go wherever I please, Guillermo!"

Trying to keep his voice even, Guillermo rephrased the question. "Um. Did you need something, Master?"

"Yes of course, Guillermo." Nandor said impatiently. "I need you to tell me what the shit this is!" He brandished the poster.

Guillermo gulped, fear rising in his throat. "Oh that, Master? Uh, well, it's just um-"

"Who is this Vampirica, Guillermo, and why is she so beautiful?" Nandor bared his fangs and hissed lustfully at the poster, not noticing Guillermo's jaw drop open in shock. "Look at all this glitter! Is she a relative of yours?"

Guillermo gaped at him until he looked up. "Well? Tell me who she is, Guillermo!"

"That...that's me, Master." Guillermo ducked his head. He could feel the flush burning its way across his cheeks and down his chest, certain he would melt into a puddle soon enough and be free of the wide-eyed stare Nandor was now leveling at him.

"This is you, Guillermo?" Nandor said incredulously. " _You_ are Vampirica?"

Guillermo was sure his whole body was bright red under his clothes now. "Yes, Master. I...once a week I do drag. That's- that is, I put on makeup and dress up as a woman and go perform for people." He paused, then barged ahead, needing to unburden himself. "It really helps me, Master. There's a lot to do around here, and it helps relieve the stress, and I make sure I don't fall behind on chores."

Head still bowed, he waited tensely for Nandor's response. After a few moments of silence, he chanced a look up at his master.

Nandor was regarding him with what could only be described as a thoughtful stare. He looked between the poster and Guillermo again, apparently comparing the two until he was satisfied that Guillermo was indeed telling the truth. When he spoke, his voice was measured. "Guillermo, you know you are only a lowly familiar and not a vampire."

Guillermo swallowed. "Yes, Master."

"It is highly impertinent of you to dress up as one for others' entertainment."

"...Yes, Master." Guillermo looked back down at his shoes, feeling his heart drop.

"However...since it does not interfere with your duties at home, I will let you off with a demerit, and no other punishment." Nandor paused. "And...you may continue to perform as this Vampirica." Guillermo's head snapped up so fast he might have given himself whiplash. "As long as you do it only during the day, so no vampires will see."

Staring wide-eyed at Nandor, Guillermo saw a shadow of what could have been sheepishness pass underneath his imperious facade. "And in return for this charity, you will show me how you have worked this magic with glitter."

"I...thank you, Master!" The wave of relief that washed through Guillermo almost made his knees buckle. "I'd, uh, be happy to show you how to put on makeup. Glitter especially," he clarified when Nandor gave him a sharp look.

"Very well, Guillermo," Nandor said, dropping the poster where he stood and sweeping past Guillermo toward the foyer. He turned in the doorway. "Nadja and Laszlo will leave to hunt soon. You will come to my room after they are gone."

"Yes, Master," Guillermo breathed as Nandor disappeared through the curtain. He dropped to his knees and picked up the poster, carefully tucking it under his bed with the rest of his belongings, before leaning against the bedframe with a sigh, trying to figure out what just happened.

\--

"Are you done yet, Guillermo?" Nandor asked impatiently. Guillermo used the pad of his finger to press the glitter in place once, twice more.

"Done, Master." He backed away to look at his work, and his breath caught in his throat. Nandor's eyes were drawn up on the edges with a cateye, glitter sparkling over his eyelids and curving toward the top of his nasal bridge. His cheeks were contoured and highlighted with a finer glimmer, and his beard scintillated with multicolored reflections in the candlelight. He looked otherworldly.

"Well?" Nandor said, interrupting Guillermo's reverie. "You must take a picture for me so I can see! Use your smartypants phone."

Guillermo quickly dug in his pocket for his phone and snapped a photo. He pulled it up and gave the phone to Nandor.

Nandor gasped. "Guillermo! It is so beautiful!" Guillermo stared in amazement as Nandor leapt up from his seat and twirled, holding the phone up and grinning like a maniac, his fangs glinting amidst the constellation of glitter on his face. "Ha! Wonderful job, Guillermo!"

Guillermo's heart leapt inside his chest. He'd never seen Nandor so pleased. "Thank you, Master," he whispered, feeling himself tumble off a cliff, head over heels, into unknown space.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt list here: https://twitter.com/wwcits/status/1307816076021907456
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Comments are always welcomed!


End file.
